You wake up some days and your heart just isn't in it. This happens. No need to think you've been abandoned by the spirits. No voodoo - it's simply a disconnect.
You have a dream. Sometimes you fulfill that dream, you get the car, house, boat, partner and kids and then what? Sometimes you start to realise you don't have a dream. And then, well work changes meaning.
We need new dreams. We need to be better at dreaming and re-dreaming the future. When I come to Nepal and walk to base camp, especially in May each year, i bump into climbers on their way home from summiting the beautiful but treacherous Mt Everest. At lodges along the trail I ask "how was it?" trying to extract a story or two. But they're not interested in the past. They want to share their next adventure. The next mountain. We all need to become good at this.
My first wife left me after a few years of struggle. It was many years ago and I went through and I had to go on an extended search for the meaning of life. After 5 years, I still couldn't find it. It's not that I had it before she left, but trying to put my life back together again without her, really required a deeper understanding about why shit happens.
At the end of that zen like quest, I came to a profound realisation. And i got this realisation from observing nature. I witnessed a horrific storm, one that destroyed homes and streets and cars. Watching it reminded me of my experience during the divorce years but two days after the storm, with debris scattered everywhere, there was complete calm. Nature started to rebuild.
So, what I realised was that my discomfort from being divorced was not the separation from my ex, in fact, that wasn't so hard. It was my inability to reinvent myself. My dreams, visions and pictures of the future had been shattered by disruption, my personal storm, but unlike nature, I didn't dust myself off, reinvent (evolve) the picture of the future, and get back on track. Instead, I stayed lamenting the loss of the old one.
Ironically, the same thing happened with my dad. He lost my mum when life was just beginning for them and for the next 60 years, tried to relive that past. He couldn't open his heart to life or love because the picture he had of the future included someone who wasn't here. Almost like having one job but wishing you were at another firm.
It is really foolish to switch jobs when you are not enjoying your work. The remedy is not to run but to learn. Learn how to reinvent yourself, to dream again, to imagine a different future with the same infrastructure. Love it before you leave it.
Love it before you leave it.
The following paragraph best describes the life of a dreamer. A person who can adapt to change, handle disruption well and stay on track.
For many years I have coached people who are keen to work as effectively
as possible. The most successful of these adapt to disruption spontaneously and stay "balanced, centred and calm. To achieve this, they become moved by an expansive vision. They are fascinated by life and driven to experience it fully. They respond well to change although they do not necessarily like it. They think clearly when information is uncertain and belief structures are impaired. They see connections between a fast moving world and their vision, and they have open and receptive state of mind that is not paralysed by information they had not expected. They have mastered the art of working with people and are able to communicate honestly, pursue compelling vision and engage with integrity.