Chris Walker Love, Relationship, Lust and Life Blog

EVOLVE YOURSELF - STAY - ONE STEP AHEAD

 

In a tiny village hidden from the advances of civilisation a community exists untouched by modern life. Fire is lit by striking rocks and food is picked from fertile forests. One could say, this community has never evolved. Is it good? Some think they should be left in their ignorance, a sort of bliss. But with child mortality over 50%, and life expectancy of 42, the idealisation of the un-evolved business, individual or community is it's inevitable destruction. When Evolve doesn't happen, change comes, and change means a lot of turbulence in a very short time: not fun. Evolve means immunity from change.

Adaptation means change happens amd then you adapt to it. A business or team that's in adaptation mode is being led by the nose through to the future. Dragged kicking and screaming through the process of evolving by competitive forces. 

Innerwealth teaches the 100% opposite. Innerwealth means ONE STEP AHEAD ... proactive prediction of market competitive force, person demands and consequential action. Simplistically, ONE STEP AHEAD means trigger the cause and benefit from effect rather than wait for the effect and then adapt. Eating ice cream makes you fat, so, instead of recognising you've become filled with mucous and you're getting fat before you stop eating ice cream, don't eat it and don't suffer the consequences.

Managing You for Better Relationships

As a business person, leader, entrepreneur, parent or partner your responsibilities are vast, diverse, often overwhelming. At Innerwealth we understand this complexity more than most but we don't want to become another "should" organisation... telling people how to live their life or prioritise things is absolutely not our mission. We think all those are personal choices we all make that vary from time to time based on circumstances. 

However, we do bring essential guidance to you on what is bull s...., what is myth and what is real in self management based on Nature's Universal Laws and therefore not on trend, fashion, emotion or rhetoric. So, in this post I'm going to create a little summary for you of exactly what Managing You looks like from Nature's Viewpoint. 

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

Top Five Regrets of the Dying
By Bronnie Ware

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

Become an Evolutionary .. Killing Off the Work Life Balance Myth

If you are an entrepreneur, business person or small business owner, you need to read this ... it's about containing the stresses of business so they don't come home and mess with your family, or visa versa. it's an important facility for all who want a good quality of life.

It's Up To You... Single, Love or Struggle

When I wrote my article last week about how long it takes to get back into a relationship after a smash, crash and burn many people emailed me saying something like... "that's hard work."

Well, of course it's hard work, and potentially it's dealing with the highest probability of why those people are single. They'd prefer to be right, than happy.

I used to think that feeling sorry for myself would attract a mate. It worked to an extent. I mean there are a lot of people out in the world who just love to rescue men who feel wounded. The problem is, that when they help heal the wound, they don't like the power the guy gets back, they prefered a wounded guy to a healthy one.

Walking wounded doesn't create great love affairs. In fact the opposite.

Work Mode - Home Mode - Do You Know the Difference?

I've attended most of the big "how to succeed in business, sport and life" conferences, at least once.

I've also attended many "how to be a happy person and great partner" workshops.

I've attended many - many "how to find your spiritual roots" retreats.

And guess what I found?

They all recommend different things, but use the same language.

The Psychology of Stress

Most stress goes undetected. It's called worry. 

Worry and stress are cumulative. They add.

For most people the cure for stress is to take a break. 

Breaks come in the form of time out, a few beers, sleep, food and play.

These breaks are not stress relieving at all.

They are distractions from the cause of the stress.

There are seven areas of life. Therefore seven areas of worry.

When Work Isn't Work

Our state of mind may not determine how fast we run, or how powerful we paddle, but it certainly determines for how long we can sustain it.

I remember running my business on the ready, fire, aim strategy for many years. It's like saying that the more stress, the more busy, the more noise and the more exhausted I was at the end of the day, the better I'd done... I used to brag, "Didn't have time to scratch myself today" now I consider that a sign of incompetence.

Sorting the Confusion between Love, Inspiration and Emotion

Most people mistake love for emotion. They are in fact opposites.

Emotion - all of it - is the opposite to love - not just hate, but like as well.

When you say "I am inspired" you are saying you know the strength that comes from love.

Love means not wanting or needing. 

Needy people or people who want stuff from you, can't love you.

Wanting something means there's no love. There's just exchange.

Needing something means there's no love. Just an exchange of contract.

In the Zone

Here is a graph of my speed versus heart rate for an ocean race I did last weekend. I'm going to analyse this later in the article but to put this graph in context, I'd like to relate it to sustaining your energy throughout the working week.

I speak to allot of people about sustainable effort. Not burning out mid week.

The vast majority of this speak falls on deaf ears.

Lowest Common Denominator

Denominator is a funny word isn't it? The Dominator sounds more like a Rambo movie.

Dominator is often the lowest complaint.

People who listen to the lowest common denominator are confused.

Inspiration comes at a cost, and that cost is disobedience to the lowest common denominator.

You can't listen to the lowest common denominator, give it credit or weight, and stay inspired.

The person who moans is most often the dumbest.

What it Takes to Live Inspired

You may not be a bike fanatic, or even a sports fanatic... but this is worth a watch....

I love this.... this just shows the dedication it takes to master, master, master something... anything... something... anything to get beyond what most people are happy with... mediocrity.. most people live quiet lives of desperation.... happy with mediocrity... not Danny, not me... not you...

Your Participation is Welcome

I love your comments on my blogs and would love to encourage more of them. Whether it's here on the blog itself, on feedburner or sent direct, an opinion about the content, ideas about structure or even requests for a topic, I welcome and value them.

As a subscriber you are a close member of my family. My blog system deletes email addresses that do not regularly click through to read the articles. So, if you're getting this blog, you are obviously keen to integrate harmony and reduce disharmony in the world and your life, work, relationship and parenting.

I, like nature, grow at the border of support and challenge. So, I welcome both and invite you on any blog post to add supportive or challenging comments to each post... let's build the relevance of this beautiful work, the world needs it more than ever.

What you can be confident about is that if you feel it, someone else does too. So, although it feels like a personal comment, it's actually more the leadership of a collective and it's this that makes comments so valuable...

Thank you for your ongoing commitment.

Chris

All human disaster comes from disharmony with nature.

When a person lives and works with their hands and heart in nature for a lifetime, they get to understand what most people couldn't learn from any book, website or guru in a hundred years. They learn the wisdom of the ages. Nature'sl Universal Laws. Principles that don't require a blackboard or a prayer book to remember.

It is not being a greenie, or saving a whale that puts you in harmony with nature. No, that's often the complete opposite. As a qualified environmental engineer, I can say that much of what is done in the name of harmony with nature, is the complete opposite.

How Can A Spiritual Consultant Help You?

Want to change your luck? Having a run of accidents, bad luck and would like to get to the bottom of it and turn it around? Maybe nobody does more to you than you do to yourself and it'd help to get your mind, body and spirit all working in harmony....

Want to feel Upbeat and Positive? Feeling unspirited, uninspired by life? Maybe doing a Personal Vision Quest  (VIP - Vision, Inspiration and Purpose)  will bring your health, energy, wellbeing, parenting and work to a new level of energy.

How's Your Spirit?

What Energy Do You Bring Into A Room?

The energy you bring to a room is determined by your spirituality. Yes, everyone is spiritual, so everyone brings energy to a room. The variables are quite significant however:

1. Does your energy raise or lower the tone in the room?
2. Is your energy uplifting or exhausting to be around?
3. Is your energy consistent or emotionally fluctuating?
4. Do you inspire others to look for the best or worst in themselves?
5. Is your energy about you attracting attention to yourself (EGO) or about others feeling better about themselves?
6. Is there are purpose to your energy that brings people together for more than self gratification?
7. If you come or go in a room, family, team, group do people notice a lighter or darker space? (in other words to you weigh things down or inspire them up?)

The Big Why

Energy is precious. Use it well and it's our key to all things wonderful. Use it badly and it may create a billion billion dollars and yet, in perpetuity, nothing.

You Can't Beat the Mountain - Lessons For Life Learned Climbing the Himalayas

Half way up the side of a mountain. The going is tough. Our energy food is all gone, we're tired. Why go on? The Ego in us wants to say, "I made it to the Summit" and take pictures to prove it" the INSPIRED side of us, has a very different reason. One of these two states of mind is going to put our life at risk, the other is not... one is sustainable in life the other is not... lets explore a comparison between EGO and INSPIRATION:

Core Strength - Innerwealth Dumbed Down and Simplified

 

I'm going to take a short cut right through the middle of Innerwealth teachings, to abbreviate and demonstrate how you can choose to live inspired anytime you are ready.

 Inside you is a core strength, both physical and mental. While you think your way through life, you can never know your core strength, we always feel insecure around thinking, that's why we talk so much.

When you get close to a person who is in touch with their core strength, they exhibit incredible presence. People like Bill Clinton, Nelson Mandela and even "itsi bitsie" little Mother Teresa now departed all had amazing presence. 

You want to get in contact with your core strength too, it requires a minimum of two out  three attentions:

1. Balance

2. Centred

3. At Ease

1. Balance

Balance is about your intent.

Turning Up - How to Get Present like Bill Clinton

From Michael Ellsberg

I’ve figured out the secret—or at least, a big secret—of Bill Clinton’s legendary charm and face-to-face persuasion.

“I have a friend who has always despised Bill Clinton,” a person at a cocktail party told me during the time I was writing my book about eye contact. “Yet, somehow my friend found himself at a function that Bill Clinton was attending. And, within the swirl of the crowd, he was introduced to Clinton.”

“In that moment, face-to-face, all of my friend’s personal animosity towards Clinton disappeared, in one instant,” my new acquaintance at the party continued. “As they were shaking hands, Clinton made eye contact with my friend in a way so powerful and intimate, my friend felt as though the two of them were the only people in the room.”

Steve Jobs is famous for having a “Reality Distortion Field” (RDF)—an aura of charisma, confidence, and persuasion, in which people report it almost impossible to avoid surrendering to the man and following his will when interacting face-to-face. Well—love his politics or hate them—Clinton is known for an RDF even stronger than Jobs’.  Perhaps the strongest in the world.

So, what’s the secret to Clinton’s RDF?

Creating Outcomes You Deserve - Blog Post 2# Feelings Nothing More than Feelings

An athlete learns quickly that feelings are important.

They learn that feel bad feelings sabotage results and feel good feelings help.

An athlete learns that, letting feelings be out of control, is absolutely disastrous. Feelings must be controlled or no performance is possible.

A exhausted entrepreneur might say "I feel like giving up" and they know that those feelings will pass.

A couple in a relationship might say "this relationship feels dead" and start to look elsewhere for love but in twenty years look back and think, "it was the best relationship of my life."

A depressed person might say "I feel like chocolate" but really, that's not true.

Regret No More

The old man mused as he sat listening to the TV.

In the background he could hear the phone ringing but he doesn't care.

His wife was to blame for his first train wreck

His girlfriend the one after

And again the next after they got back together for a while.

I was holding my recorder capturing his words through the smoke and whiskey filled haze

As he started to rant about the good old dayz

Relationships and Business -- Mix or Not?

Protecting our relationships from the ravages of emotional, stressful and sometimes crazy business life can become a nightmare of complexity that, in itself, can become a stress.

When we walk in or out the door we don't actually leave our relationships behind: a couple who are really in love, stay really connected throughout the day, whether they want to or not.

But it's hard to comprehend the extent of this. We can't see or hear our partner, we can't feel or touch them and yet, we're meant to believe that who we are and what we think when our partner is on the opposite side of the planet, impacts them, and ultimately, our relationship with them.

Life at the Top

When we reach the top of the mountain, there's a significant surprise in-store for us. We are, albeit now exhausted and relieved, the same person we were at the bottom.

If we have a habit of being angry with people, we'll be angry at the top of a mountain too. Or if we are hoping for happiness to come at the bottom, after five minutes, that habit will come at the top.

To slip into bad habits is quite understandable in life. I mean, there are enough opportunities to let our physical tiredness become mental and visa versa.

It's wiser to break those habits before you go trekking to the top of a mountain... And then, use the trek to inspire and consolidate new ways to think.

It's never what you think - it's how you think that can change your world....

Personal Vision - Inspiration and Life Purpose

It has been over 35 years of exploration and nearly 50% of that has been sitting in seminars, at the feet of guru's, meditating with great masters and experiencing traditional spiritual shaman practices. All with one goal, truth.

I've spent a total of 3 years of my life in meditation, sitting in Zazen, and even more practising the fine arts of Yoga and Tai Chi. And at the end of it, with my eyes starting to fail from reading literally thousands of books. I am none the wiser.

Because it is not what you know that's important, it's what you do that counts. And this is the topic of today's BLOG.... making a difference.

Firstly, I must explain something I've already said above. None the wiser does not imply that I personally have not evolved. I have, hugely. And when I go to teach people who are where I once was, I recognise just how far I've travelled in those 35 years, in fact, as a teacher, often that gap is a massive problem. My compassion for innocence in my clients is so often tested in training programs, but, that's the point. If you get so high that you can't teach someone with compassion, it's probably time to leave the planet and I'm not ready for that.

Why Stuff Happens to Us In Middle Life

Whatever attitude exists in the conscious mind, and whichever psychological function is dominant, the opposite is in the unconscious. This situation seldom precipitates a crisis in the first half of life. But for older people who reach an impasse, characterized by a one-sided conscious attitude and the blockage of energy, it is necessary to bring to light psychic contents that have been repressed.

The repressed content must be made conscious so as to produce a tension of opposites, without which no forward movement is possible. The conscious mind is on top, the shadow underneath, and just as high always longs for low and hot for cold, so all consciousness, perhaps without being aware of it, seeks its unconscious opposite, lacking which it is doomed to stagnation, congestion, and ossification. Life is born only of the spark of opposites. [Jung - The Problem of the Attitude-Type," CW 7, par. 78.]

The Pain of Regret always Outweighs the Pain of Discipline

I was sitting down watching a bit of TV the other night, getting ready for bed, when a show came on that I enjoy. The next thing I knew it was 1.00am and I had a 6.00am meeting. I'd reminded myself about this meeting over and over during the TV show, but the incentive to stop watching this educational documentary wasn't strong enough.

I made it to the meeting and did well, but needed two quick cat naps during the day.

This is just one of the examples where the pain of regret outweighs the pain of discipline. The question is WHY do we let this most obvious contradiction happen? Like: drinking too much and then regretting it? Eating too much and then regretting it? Speaking harsh words and then regretting it? And more.....

Part 1 of the 10 part Series: Peace of Mind

Of all the gifts a person can hold dear to their heart - peace of mind would - in my opinion - be the ultimate.

If you have experienced life I think you'll agree that most human calamity, (including ill-health and relationship drama) have their roots in one, single human failing - the inability to find peace of mind. This awareness alone makes peace of mind a much sought after commodity, whether amongst the wealthy or poor it's value is priceless but, it can't be bought or sold.

The frustration of the search for peace of mind, goes to the heart of humanity and triggers massive corruption in our life. Whether we seek alcohol and drugs to find it, food, sex, greed or even spirituality, peace of mind does not come from synthetic sources, millions have proven this to be so.

Fat sad people, religious violent ones, meditating angry people, and addicted unhappy people. Their solutions to the lack of peace of mind proved addictive and yet, never, even for more than one single hour, satisfied their appetite for calm and peace.

Why?

You can read more about this here

Rebounding: How to do it well - Some Do's and Some Don'ts

Rebounding means recovering from a downer.

Sometimes that downer is a long term loss of self-respect or it's more physical. Sometimes it's from heart break and or a relationship ending.

Whatever rebound means it designates a stop to one course of activity and implements a new one.

So here's some do's a don'ts.

Feeling Left Out?

Do you ever feel like this lady? Looking around thinking "oh, Damn, everyone else looks like they have it together except me."

Well, you can stop that because if you simply enjoy being the one who doesn't jump they'll all think the same about you.

The irony about conformity is that it keeps your feelings of separation hidden. It's like camouflage.

For example: last week I attended a training program where the teacher really went fast through relatiively threatening information. I sat there thinking, "am I the only dumb bastard in the room who isn't getting this?"

Eventually, I decided it was better to celebrate my "dumb side" and ask questions so, instead of cowering in conformity I just started to laugh and ask my dumb questions with an enjoyable smile.

This is too Funny - Why Australia is in Trouble -

Why Australia is in Trouble

• The population of this country is 20 million.
• 11 million are retired.
• That leaves 9 million to do the work.
• There are 5 million in school
• Which leaves 4 million to do the work.
• Of this there are 2 million employed by the federal government.
• Leaving 2 million to do the work.
• 0.1 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.
• Which leaves 1.9 million to do the work.
• Take from that total the 1.5 million people who work for state and city Governments.
• And that leaves 0.4 million to do the work.
• At any given time there are 18,800 people in hospitals.
• Leaving 381,200 to do the work.
• Now, there are 380,198 people in prisons.
• That leaves just two people to do the work.
• You and me.
• And there you are,
• Sitting on your ass,
• At your computer, reading jokes.
• Nice.real nice.

Fast Track Recovery from Personal Challenge

Find the Audio for this Blog within 24 hours on Itunes Here

How long do you want to spend getting back on track in your life. You want a year to deal with a heart break? Do you want a few years to deal with depression? Do you want a few months to get over a relationship challenge? How about six months to get over some negativity at work?

Well, at Innerwealth we say bull to all that. 

How much life do you want to waste even in a bad mood, or not feeling on top of things. A day is precious, an hour is a gift. Just ask someone who's been diagnosed with a terminal disease, how valuable an hour is, and yet, I see people carry grudges for years, grief for a lifetime, false hopes for longer. What a waste because while those states of mind are confronting they prevent you from TURNING UP.

Obstacles - How to Overcome them: Tiredness

When I went vegetarian the first time, I loved it. My heart was filled with good vibes, I wasn't killing animals, I was feeding my body with good organic veggies and the world around me seemed to turn slower and more beautifully. I felt a bit superior to meat eaters, given that, in the old text, meat eaters were more into their animal nature because of what they consumed.

After six months I decided to go for a short bush walk near my country farm, so, I put on the requisite backpack and off I went. About half way through, the weather changed and my friend was not in a good way. They got some hypothermia and went downhill from there.

When it came time for me to support them, help them, I had no fuel. My vegetarian diet had been designed all around me, my needs, my normal everyday life. I had no reserves, nothing to deal with this situation and it soon became life threatening. I had to do what no one in the walking field likes to do: I had to leave my companion alone, and go for help.

There are five layers to tiredness, and I'll discuss them briefly:

Breathe Right

 It’s very rare to see a Himalayan person with a slouched back. Even the porters who carry goods and supplies up the steep paths, don’t hunch forward. If you draw a line between the centre of their ear and their shoulder it’s vertical. Why?

Because a hunched our slouched posture cramps breathing and up here, people need all the air they can get. That’s the first reason, but the second is about self respect. When the head stoops forward, when the earline centre becomes forward of the shoulder the heart goes out of life and the head takes control. It’s a way to stay centred, grounded and authentic.

BOOSTING YOUR ENERGY

More is better. What is happiness but energy? The more we have of it, the happier we get, the better we do, the kinder we are and the less reactive we become. The less energy we have the sadder we get, the more discouraged and the more desperate.

Energy is life. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would say, “gee I want less energy.” Happiness comes from great energy and great energy gives us incredibly wise choices.

The worst decisions I have made are when my energy was disturbed, depleted or depressed.

Daily Holidays

 When people tell me they are going on holidays, I feel sad. I feel sad because of the enthusiasm they have for their holiday. It shows what a crappy life they've created. 

I believe in daily holidays. I got to the park each day for a holiday. Sometimes I go to the coffee shop for a holiday. Or catch the train to the city for an appointment for a holiday. 

Sometimes I watch TV for a holiday or paddle my kayak or go for a run. Sometimes I eat dinner with my wife or go visit a friend. The thought of leaving this, to go somewhere for a holiday is awful. Just duplication in another place.

Last week I went bush walking in Tasmania. It's great theatre to say, "wow, I walked in Tasmania, but what about Sydney? I can bush walk along beaches at 4.00am and nobody is there. I don't need to go to Tassie really.

Sometimes I go away. I go away to do things I can't do, learn things I can't learn and experience things I can't experience in Sydney. Like visit the Himalayas or meet monks in Nepal. But mostly, everything else is included in my daily holiday.

My friend said, "I have booked a holiday to South America, I just can't wait." I felt sad. More cities, different language, same stuff. 

I guess there are magnificent places we can go that are not available in our daily holidays. But I think it's better to celebrate what we've got before we start fantasising about escapes and getaways. That's my daily holiday. Even sitting on the pot can be a welcome break.... I'm going to rename my bathroom, "getaway holiday destination, a place to unwind, let go and take some time out...."

Reblogged - Adventures and misadventures of a sea kayak guide in Mexico and the Northwest US

Freedom article from Ginni

Today is the second day of my annual northward migration. So far, so good. Lots to think about, like this common misperception:

The Freedom of the Open Road. Really, the road is quite limiting. It’s just a line from one place to another, through an expansive landscape. When I turn onto the road, I have 2 options: left or right. Or not to go which is then the third option.

Too much freedom is chaos, and that can feel overwhelming, or lonely. Freedom, with its parameters, is usually that I’m looking for. After all, freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. Freedom ain’t worth nothin’, but it’s free. So the song goes.

If I am free on the sea with my kayak, I still need to maintain it and my gear in good order, maintain also my basic nutrition, awareness of the weather and my navigation. I need to have prepared my skills. Without these, I will soon become a floating disaster. Chaos.

Freedom within parameters—the responsibility of preparation and maintenance. This is what I really seek.

The more I have, the less free I am. The more house, property, business, boats, the more responsibility. The more stuff to worry about. There is a balance between having nothing—utter freedom—and having the parameters or tools or toys to pursue that which brings us joy. A boat to go paddling or water skiing or sailing. Work for money. Money for travel. Land to dream with, or farm, or rent, or just mow repeatedly.

How about relationships? Are freedom and commitment compatible? Can a relationship be a parameter within which a satisfying freedom can be found?

Emotional Transparency Part 2.

So, in the first video we learned about "Think Balance" and the difference between emotional thinking and Nature's law. We got to understand how, by finding balance in any situation we could make that circumstance or person or thing become ambivalent to us. In other words not give our power away.

Now, in this video we're talking about Evolving - that's the real purpose of emotion. Some people act, others react on emotion. Nature's Universal Laws suggests using them as they were intended: to cause growth.

Emotional Transparency Part 1.

For those who really want to know how to deal with emotion, there's one piece of advice that comes from nature: don't trust them.

No matter whether you EI, EQ, EZE, or Explode - Emotions are our Unconsciousness, nothing more.

This is the first of five short video presentations on Emotion. I hope you enjoy. Use the comments segment at the bottom of this article to add your emotions to this blog about emotions.

Bring a little Nature into Your life

The separation from nature is at the heart of human suffering. Our offices are getting more isolated, our food more synthetic, our homes filled with noise and our minds greedy with ambition.

We lose everything when we lose contact with nature. Love goes, time evaporates and our work becomes robotic. The death we all fear comes all too soon in the sterile space of a life separated from nature.

It is not just the art of seeing, respecting and preserving nature that is vital. It is the art of being in nature, depending on it, playing with it, learning how to be at one with it: adapting.

Perfect days - Don't Double Up.

Try to never go to sleep at night with the day unfinished. When yesterday is incomplete, today starts off already challenged.

Avoid going to bed with a worry on your mind, an argument unresolved or an apology not shared.

What we carry into sleep, becomes the psychic journey of the night. A place we go in our subconscious. A place that can make or break us.

I review the day before sleep. I ask myself "was this another perfect day?"

Turning up For Life

 Lord Baden Powell, who turned out to be as crooked as a bend stick, started the global boy scouts association (understable move for a man accused of being a pedophile).. with the motto "be Prepared"

Some of the boys he tutored, one might suspect weren't, which is quite the irony...

Nor was Lord Baden prepared when confronted about his diary notes about sleeping arrangements on scouting adventures.

However,

Be Prepared is a great motto.

Dying of Boredom

The idle mind is the devils playground. Well at least it's a playground.

For most people, there is no playground. Dead and dying of boredom.

So we stay in a relationship for the whole of our days, woopee, lets start a craze. Boring is best light a fart make a blaze.

For most people I know they hate their job and they ask, "Chris, how can I do less?"

What an awful thought.

Inside our head there's a little gold prison, looks great on the outside, looks dead in the middle.

Turning up for Life

What's an emotion? Is it a good thing or a bad.

Ask every therapist, psychologist, self help hippie and religious fanatic on earth, and you're likely to get a different answer from all of them.

That's why, when you let nature be your guide, you cut through the mire, confusion and emotional roller coaster of life and come down to the real, muddy, wonderful, creative truth. And in turn, your own path.

Amateur Psychology - Walker's Law of Lesser Pissers

 A little bit of knowledge is dangerous. Especially if we think that little bit is a big bit. And never is it more dangerous than in amateur psychology.

I've met psychologists from all over the world, and in most cases, there's no more messed up, distorted emotionally fruit cake group of individuals on earth. But at least they know why.

The more we really know about something, the more we really know what we don't know.

I am no psychologist, I don't even pretend to understand the difference between Freud and Fraud. It is for me, a minefield of complexity and best left to the experts to apply to those who are really, really messed up. It appears that for those individuals, it really works.

Trying to Change Yourself is like trying to tickle yourself - It's not funny

One day, somebody said to me, "if you want to be happy, you should be less stoic." That information came from a Buddhist monk and so, I guess I thought it must be right.

The information came with some assumptions. I'll list them:

1/ That it is possible for me to be "only stoic" in all areas of my life at all times.

2/ That being less stoic in all areas of my life at all times would be good.

3/ That if I was less stoic there would only be an upside to the newfound me.

All three assumptions were 50% wrong - 50% right.

Somebody, somewhere said this is how it could or should be

Nobody beats us up more than we beat ourselves up. Most of it is for not being something that somebody somewhere said was good to be someone.

Well, most of the time, that somebody, was a nobody, and they created what they could or should have been if they had done things differently. Which means, they're estimating what it could or should be, if we did something that might or might not have happened.

Words are words, thoughts are thoughts, ideas are ideas and promises are promises, Results are reality.

When you say to your partner "I love you, but to live with you I need to change you" then it's time to leave.

Nature - Be Still in Soul Time

A video to calm the nerves for a few moments

The Rythm of Life has a Powerful Beat - In the Pocket with Life

Last year I had a period when everything seemed to be going wrong. I got sick, my outgoings exceeded my income, my energy was exhausted and my friendships seemed to be fragmenting. I was, in my langauge, "Not in The Pocket" - not in the zone. And the worst part was that I didn't know why.

It so happened that I was due for another trip to Nepal Himalayas. I contemplated not going because given the bad streak I was having, I suspected I'd be at the bottom of a mountain gorge before I'd walked too far.

Instead of that, I decided to ask myself the right question. "How do I live my purpose in life?" and the answer was simple, "go to Nepal and walk your talk - and if you die doing it, then it's a worthy exit."

Staying Humble during Success

Given the laws of nature motto of "take no credit, take no blame" we might be surprised to find out, that science has come to the same conclusion from a completely different angle.

Although we realise that  Self criticism might be a great "honesty" in self-improvement, the problem is knowing when to stop it.

An athlete, for example, might be highly self critical in training in order to improve skills and develop characteristics of improvement but this "self blame" or taking responsibility for downsides and upsides leads to a "habit" - and that habit is completely self destructive.

Nothing comes from us, only comes through us. That's a smart model to own. Give credit to others for success. That way there's a relaxed centred approach to life. Nothing comes from us, only through us. We can become a conduit.

Now, you might ask, "doesn't this lead to self delusion" and the answer, in a perfect world is yes. But, in the real world, we beat ourselves up already, there's no need to add to it with some "take the credit" - "take the blame" model.

In sport, that's why we have a coach. In business, that's why we have leaders and coaches, so we can get on with the job and do our best. Lets look at this from the scientific side.... 

"I am a lovable person." "Not."

 By Wray Herbert

A milestone in the self-help movement was the publication of Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking in the early 1950s, which encouraged Americans to both think and talk positively about their lives and themselves. By the mid-1980s, that therapeutic philosophy had become so pervasive in American society that the Saturday Night Live comedian Al Franken wickedly parodied self-glorification through his alter-ego Stuart Smalley, who wrote the quintessential self-help volume: I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!

A lot has changed since the 80s. Comedy writer Franken is now the junior Senator from Minnesota, and will soon be writing laws instead of SNL skits. But one thing has not changed appreciably: Americans are still being urged—through self-help books, TV therapists and the like—to think positively and make daily affirmations of their self-worth.